Read this out loud and in full

Read this out loud and in full.
If you fail to read this out loud and in full, you will fail the current task.

-

Dear [contestant],

Congratulations.

You have looked under the table, and found this, a letter just for you.

If you didn't have such curious instincts, you wouldn't now be reading this personal note, and I wouldn't have had the chance to let you know just how impressed I am that you thought there might be something valuable on what most people think is the wrong side of the surface. So here we are, and what a lot I'd like to say to you.

We don't write letters enough nowadays, so I'm surely going to make this one count. I'm going to get stuff off my chest. It won't be completely pleasant, Fatiha, but I need it off my chest and I want it on your chest. If I'm going to be brutally honest with you, and I do have to be brutally honest with you, Fatiha, first, then I want to apologise for the bad thing that I've done to you. By the time you read this, the deed will be done and it can't be undone and I'm truly sorry. It is massively regrettable and shameful and yes, I shouldn't have done it. If you've not discovered the thing yet, it is probably too late, but all I'd say is do dispose of all your bags at the first opportunity without opening them. Bin. Them. All. Second, have you ever been to Costa Rica? I reckon you'd like some of it. Not all of it, mind, but who likes all of everywhere? Apart from Palin. Third, come on, then, let's talk pasta. Do you like it? I bloody love it. Back to work. Hope this task goes well for you. It should do, as long as you don't get too bogged down in the wrong things. All the best, your admirer, Little Alex Horne.

And I'm going to tell you something that I haven't said to any of the other contestants. I think you've got what it takes to win Taskmaster. Not just this series, and indeed, not even just Champion of Champions. I think you could conquer the Taskmaster himself. I think you should be the Taskmaster. He's big and strong and brave and handsome, but I think you're better. There, I've said it. And I don't care anymore. For some time now, I've wanted to talk to Greg, to really talk to him. To tell him how much I respect and admire him, but that I also understand he's sometimes afraid. He sometimes wants to be held because he is mighty but he is not indestructible. He is magnificent, but he also hurts. Because, who doesn't? Who has no weaknesses? Who is 100% bulletproof? You are, Jason. You are rugged, firm and unshakeable. Your mind is as tough as your fists, which are basically big lumps of metal. One day, I hope I serve under you and together, we shall defeat all vanquishers and bring peace to this land. Please bear this in mind for the rest of the task and for the rest of your time on this show. You are better than him. Goodbye. Alex Horne.

And I'd like to take this opportunity not only to commend your nous, but also to thank you for agreeing to appear on Taskmaster at all. I've always thought that you, specifically you, would be great for all sorts of reasons. Here are some of those reasons: I respect you. I think you are funny. I like your hair. I think you've got a nice, patient, slow, deliberate, measured, unrushed, reading voice. I'd like to spend quiet a lot of time in quiet a lot of rooms with you. I've always thought you're the sort of person who would look under the tables when most people are content with just looking on top of tables. I hope you are comfortable with me paying you so many compliments. You're a humble person and I don't want to embarrass you, but I think you deserve to hear what some, but definitely not all people think of you. And thankfully, something told you there might be something under the table that would help you and you were right. This is meant to help you. Forget what those other people say - you are smart! You are perceptive! You are Mathew Baynton! OK then, I'd better go now. Well done again on finding this valuable paper. I'm so pleased for you. Alex Horne, on behalf of Greg Davies.

Things that I haven't told any of the other people you're competing against. So get ready for this. Deep breath, Rosie Ramsey. Here goes: This is not the only hidden thing in the Taskmaster house. In almost every drawer, on almost every shelf, beneath almost every stone and inside almost every satsuma there are clues, useful nuggets and, often cash. Don't be content that you have found this bonus, keep looking, keep searching, and keep finding the truth. For I am telling you the truth. The truth is that Taskmaster is not just about the tasks in front of you. It's about peeling away the layers of the tasks, the tables and yourself. It's about discovering what's really inside your head and what's really inside your brain, and what's really inside your mouth and what's really inside whatever it was that was inside your mouth. Like if you discovered there was a little box inside your mouth, it's about opening that box and finding something like a key in that box. And then searching for what that key is for and discovering that it's actually a key for little car that's hidden in the basement. That sort of thing. OK, carry on. Yours, Greg Davies.

What can we say that hasn't already been said? What do you want us to say? What should we say? What is the time? What is love? Wait, what? What? Wait. I suppose I really want to say this to you: Take your time, Stevie. Think about the tasks. Stop rushing in. Really consider what it is you want to do and what it is you should do. Spending just an extra minute planning will do you wonders. It'll allow you to make better choices, smarter decisions and more well-rounded judgements. Come on, listen to me. Stop. Look. Listen. Wait. Think. Shut your eyes. Shake your head, tongue out. Does that make sense? What I'm saying is, you've got time. You've nearly always got time. But not always. You don't always have time. Sometimes you've got to crack on with the task and not waste too much time. Like right now. You've got to get going. You don't have all the time in the world. The clock is ticking and we can all hear it. Tick tock tick tock tick tock. Tick tock, Stevie. This isn't the occasion to dither, mate. Get going. Get on it. Go get 'em, tiger. That's it from us. Hope we've helped, but really, you can only actually help yourself sometimes. P.S. This extra sentence isn't likely to be of much use to you, but just to say, we think a lot of things you've done so far have actually been sort of fine in a way. Yours sincerely, A.H. and G.D.

Task Information

Episode

My presumably scrotum.
Midnight picnic.

Type

Special Task

Presentation

Under the table

Read this out loud and in full was a special task featured on Series 19 of Taskmaster in My presumably scrotum. and Midnight picnic., and as an outtake from Getaway sticks..

Setup[]

Location	Taskmaster House
Equipment	Long written letter

Summary[]

The task was presented attached to the underside of the table. The moment they opened it, the contestant had to read out loud the long letter, risking their time on their current task or fail that task. Each contestant had a different letter, and some of them hint at other objects and tasks to find hidden around the house, possibly referring to the magic moustache.

Performance[]

Fatiha El-Ghorri: Fatiha found the task during the Place something somewhere surprising when looking for the real task in Getaway sticks.. It was not shown in the main episode but instead in an outtake on YouTube. Her letter was from Alex, and mainly focussed on apologising for something awful he had done involving her bags. She read the task in full and was docked no points. As it was found before opening the task, the letter did not affect her time or her score.

Jason Mantzoukas: Jason found the task during the Answer the cheese phone in My presumably scrotum.. His letter was written by Alex, and said that Alex thinks Jason has what it takes to win Taskmaster and should be the Taskmaster. He read the task in full and was docked no points. As the task was fastest wins, he came last and received 1 point. During the same task, he found the magic moustache.

Mathew Baynton: Mathew found the task during the Tell Alex why the light bulb turns on in Midnight picnic.. His letter was written by Alex on behalf of Greg and listed the reasons they thought he would be great. He read the task in full and was docked no points. As the task was fastest wins, he came second and received 4 points.

Rosie Ramsey: Rosie found the task during the Tell Alex why the light bulb turns on in Midnight picnic.. Her letter was written by Greg and hinted that other objects were hidden around the house. She read the task in full and was docked no points. As the task was fastest wins, she came third and received 3 points.

Stevie Martin: Stevie found the task during the Place something somewhere surprising when looking for the real task in Getaway sticks.. It was not shown in the main episode but instead in an outtake on YouTube. Her letter was from Alex and Greg and offered advice for using time wisely in future tasks. She read the task in full and was docked no points. As it was found before opening the task, the letter did not affect her time or her score.

Trivia[]

This is the second task to be a recurring task throughout a UK series, after Wear this outfit throughout one future task in Series 18. It is the third if Alex alluding to a secret task in Series 16 is counted.

Read this out loud and in full

Contents

Setup[]

Summary[]

Performance[]

Trivia[]

Videos[]